Clarity Sessions
Doulas companion you with a holistic and care-based approach that keeps you at the center of your own experience. If you do not have a robust network of capable friends and family close-by, our culture seems to force one of two choices: do without or seek clinical therapy. You might not need a psychosocial assessment (or maybe you do, that’s good, too, there are some incredible folks out there); you may just need someone very skilled at listening and asking questions with curiosity and compassion. Or maybe you need both and more than that. Humaning is not easy.
Enter, Clarity Sessions.
How do they work?
I’ve developed a detailed process, but essentially you talk, and I listen deeply. I ask questions, help you more deeply listen to yourself, we repeat three times for 90-minutes based on whenever you schedule. Maybe we make art or collages or doodles while we talk. Maybe we walk or lay in the grass. Maybe you have a whole essay you want me to read in advance of our first meeting or you want to practice a conversation. The whole-body listening of a doula is definitely not therapy. The companionship is not coaching either; life and death aren’t sports. Here, we are accessing something more universal, what you should be receiving from your mother and father, your aunts, your grandmothers and grandfathers, your friends.
Are you facing a dilemma in your life (relationships, friendships, job, family, location, illness, identity shift, anything) that would benefit from the deep listening and curious questioning of a doula holding you in with deep and unconditional positive regard?
Maybe you are someone who verbally processes and you need a fresh mind and heart to sift through what is most important to you.
Maybe you want to process something you don’t want to share with someone you have to see regularly once you live into the decision.
Maybe you are processing something too closely related to the person you would seek support from.
Maybe this is your first step in exploring a topic that you will take back to a loved one in your daily life.
You need a sounding board? an invested other? someone who will keep your needs, wants, and interests at the heart of the discussion? If you know them, you can name the priorities you want me to keep focus on at the outset.
You lead the way. We aren’t here to solve all of your traumas or heal you to the core. As an excellent care coordinator, my doula heart is happy to help you to find a therapist, coach, specialist, or energy worker who can help with any number of important issues that are not the approach we use here. I am the listening ear you want. The professional friend. The English teacher you sat with for lunch (yes, I’ll make you lunch if that nurtures you). The person who will help you advocate for yourself even if you don’t know yet what that means. The person who holds you with complete care and at the center of your own experience.
You aren’t a self-improvement project. You aren’t sick or self-involved or indecisive or too needy for wanting a non-judgmental space to lay your life out and make a clear-eyed, companioned approach at exploring something core in your life.
You are seeking clarity in the dark. I will bring a candle (maybe a mullein wand). Let’s go.
Three 90-minute listening meetings scheduled at your pace (the last must be within one year of the first unless you make other arrangements directly), online or in-person at The Grief Center. You have the option to choose a listening arc to guide the personalization of each meeting.
Here are some possibilities (a few among many):
Story Arc: beginning, middle, end
Death Arc: end, unknown, beginning
Birth Arc: seed, fruit, rest
Descent Arc: surface, soil, lava
Ascent Arc: surface, atmosphere, cosmos
Decomposition Arc: consumption, remains, offering back
Clarity Sessions have roots in three trees of my professional and personal lineage:
Critical Friends Groups which emphasize structured dilemma sharing and interacting with different forms of questions (often called clarifying and probing) and statements to help the presenter uncover their own answers and next steps.
The Quaker practice of seeking “clearness” personally and in community which I have actively practiced for 18 years through “clearness committees,” developing open and honest questions in community, and seeking the comfort of paradox.
Vocation as a doula: The full-body listening and whole-self presence of a doula is like holding vigil to help you uncover your deepest wishes for your time remaining. The same clarity and peace we seek during the end of our lives is the same we can seek while living.
This isn’t crisis response, it is responsiveness to life. This is the offer of care-filled connection in time of isolation, deeper relationship in a time of self-reliance, greater clarity during a muddy time. This is support with structure and connection based on your needs (1:1 as well general group options at The Grief Center or with others in Clarity Sessions).
If you are in crisis, 988 is an excellent resource. If you know you need a therapist or are experiencing symptoms you need support managing over time, a clinical approach may be something to consider. I am happy to work alongside any and all other providers; it’s the doula way. What we are doing together is creating focus, intention, safety, and presence for you to become clearer about any question or topic you bring. Whatever is ahead comes with greater ease when we have the confidence and comfort of knowing we have given full attention and intention to its welcome.
