Dying and grief aren’t problems to solve; they aren’t just emotions and experiences to minimize and quell until they are over. Often people with long-term illness are accustomed to treating their experience (or having their experience treated) as something to diagnose and solve yet at the end of life we are already living the answer. Doulas are here with and for you as experienced companions not consultants or clinicians.

Companioning is about being present to another person's pain. It is not about taking away the pain.

Companioning is about going to the wilderness of the soul with another human being. It is not about thinking you are responsible for finding the way out.

Companioning is about honoring the spirit. It is not about focusing on the intellect.

Companioning is about listening with the heart. It is not about analyzing with the head.

Companioning is about bearing witness to the struggles of others. It is not about judging or directing these struggles.

Companioning is about walking alongside. It is not about leading or being led.

Companioning means discovering the gifts of sacred silence. It does not mean filling up every moment with words.

Companioning the bereaved is about being still. It is not about frantic movement forward.

Companioning is about respecting disorder and confusion. It is not about imposing order and logic.

Companioning is about learning from others. It is not about teaching them.

Companioning is about curiosity. It is not about expertise.

Source: The Center for Loss and Life Transition